This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
