I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize