apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize