That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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