You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
