Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
