I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
