Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
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Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
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We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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