Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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