That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
