Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
