How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
