If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize