i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
