'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
