Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize