Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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