his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
