just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize