Are we in a gay sports bar?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
