Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize