just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
