Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
