I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
