Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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