garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
