I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
