Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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