i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
