Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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