I think I am morally bankrupt
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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