hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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