Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
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I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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