Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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