Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
