I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he had hair everywhere except his balls
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
