He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
