I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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