There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
