you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
there is puke in my bra ... again
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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