when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize