I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
