Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
