Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
