could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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