Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize