Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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