Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
