I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
