he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
