I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize