just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
