she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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