you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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