and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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