just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
