I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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