is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Boobs are out for the taking
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
