:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
