He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
