Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize