i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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