GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
