New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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