I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm bleeding and have questions
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize