My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
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