i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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